Eggplant the Liar – Improv-a-Blog

I have to be honest, I have issue with the eggplant. Eggplant is such a misleading name. There are no eggs that come from that plant. It’s not the same shape or color as an egg. Oh sure, it was once thought to look like an ostrich egg or something ridiculous like that, but the wild ostriches in my neighborhood never stay around long enough for me to gander at their eggs for comparison. Total bunk.

Oh, and it’s a FRUIT too! Specifically, it’s characterized as a BERRY. You heard me right, folks…it’s a big ole momma jomma BERRY. What a fake! With all that pomp and circumstance, it goes around masquerading itself as some high and mighty vegetable, but really it’s nothing but a smug, conniving fruit.

That eggplant is such a liar.

The funny thing is, my faith sometimes reminds me of an eggplant. I call myself a Christian, but sometimes that name doesn’t quite envelope who I am and what I do…or don’t do for that matter.

The name “Christian” once defined itself so easily. It gave people a clear, concise comparison to its namesake; Christ. I’m sure the term was much easier to grasp back when sandals, locusts and robes were all the rage than it is to us today. Onlookers didn’t try to come up with some buzzword-y name to call the dusty feet followers of Jesus like, The Lanterns, Saltines of the Earth or, ‘Hey everyone, look! It’s JCizzy and the Christaceans!’ Nope, just Christians. It was simple, it made sense and people understood what that group of people believed by the very definition of the name.

Sometimes I forget its simplicity and hand over the dictionary to others to pick and choose a good one for me.

Here’s a taste of some of the definitions for “Christian” I’ve been privy to…

1. a belief in God, but without the whole ishy ‘jesus thing’ to muck it up and Debbie Downer the party.
2. being part of a very specific denomination that abides by very specific rules. God’s VIPs or mob squad, if you will.
3. a red-blooded American who leads a cyber crusade after receiving (and then mass forwarding) email forwards about those dastardly atheists who want to take God off the red, white & blue money and other such moral atrocities.
4. obtaining and retraining a “Get Out of Hell Free” card just in case the whole God thing turns out to be true. Doing just enough to stay on “the list.” Eternal fire extinguishers don’t come cheap.
5. one who attends an artsy cafe/church/club/scene with inspirational messages, hip light shows, pretty faces, trendy clothes, indie tunes that flips a flat-ironed bang to all things purportedly “old skool Jesus.”

Hey, I’m not pointing fingers because I’ve defined myself by each one of those at one time or another. Losing sight of the beautifully simple, yet divinely intricate definition “to be like Christ.” Merriam-Webster ain’t got nothing on me.

So, I guess me and Mr. Eggplant aren’t so different after all. We both have names that don’t always define what we look like or what we do and many times fall short of people’s expectations (and taste buds). But unlike the eggplant, I get the awe-inspiring opportunity to have a relationship with my Creator and allow Him to define the real me. And even though the other can get used in a casserole, I get to be used for things much greater than I ever expected…and that always amazes me.

This Blog Brought to You by:
Inspiration: Laurel Stender and the luscious and ever-complicated eggplant
Music: Bjork, Lauryn Hill, The Postal Service, Snow Patrol
Snack: Gala apple and Zen Party trail mix (wasabi peas…youch!)
Scripture: Romans 10:13

Shout Outs:
Honorary Mention: The artichoke. Didn’t make the cut, but it was going to go a little something like this: “…don’t even get me started on the ARTiCHOKE. Really, Artichoke? You’re named after the act of obstructing the trachea? Sounds DELICIOUS.
“The word ‘dastardly”: It’s one of my most favorite words and I don’t give it enough play. holla!

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