Resist the Smudge

There are approximately 42.3 things that I want at this very moment.

I want to:
…eat a bag of red Twizzlers so I can make red fangs, twisty braces and gummy straws. IMG_2105
…marry an amazing man who loves the Tilt-a-Whirl,  big dogs & people as much as I do.
…send my saddlebags out West with a ‘Do Not Return to Sender’ sticker.
…go on a really long bike ride with some of my Ride:Well friends.
…be able to do that yoga pose where it looks like your body is the letter U frowning.
…speak to a crowded house about stuff that matters (Note: Crowded House was booked).
…teach my dog to quit attempting to dislocate my shoulder on our daily walks.
…get people to listen & fall in love with my friend’s awesome band.
…do a voiceover.
…write a book that makes people cackle, cringe & connect.
…get my mullet chopped off. My hair grows like Lance Armstrong’s Chia Pet.

I’ll spare you the other 31.3. We both have things to do.

Some of those are daily thoughts, some just slish-slosh in and out of my brain and the rest I blame on this 6th cup of coffee.

In the past, I haven’t done the 5-year plan very well. If I wanted to lose weight, I’d crash, sweat kale and bleed protein shakes until I lost a handful of hamhocks. Then, I’d celebrate my victory with a bowl of ice cream and a loaf of bread. If I wanted to write more, I’d talk up my ideas so much that they never seemed to come down. Then I’d drool over other people’s words for hours while calling myself names.

I’ve never enjoyed the process. I’ve just wanted the end result.

alfred-eisenstaedt-actress-bette-davis-blowing-her-nails-dry-after-painting-them-in-her-homeI loathe painting my nails. I can color inside the lines like a champ, but put a bottle of nail polish in my hand and I start shaking like a caffeine junkie. And wait for it to dry? Forget it. I shake my hands like Polaroid’s, blow on them, have strangers blow on them and then do the smudge test.

Great, they’re still not dry and now I have a thumbprint to show police in case I’m a suspect in a robbery.

They make that quick-drying nail polish for impatients like me. I tried that the other day. I brushed on a coat of silver and they almost looked like an adult painted them. I did the smudge test and they were dry. Victory was mine!

After staring at them in awe for far too long, I came to the conclusion that they needed more shine. More glamor! I want mirrors for fingernails, dangit! So, after a few minutes (read: seconds) after they dried, I slathered on a coat of clear.

I ruined them.

I may as well of just chewed up some bubble gum and stuck the blobs on each nail. I was so frustrated. I was first mad at the clear coat for wrecking my life and then I was mad at myself for not being happy with my platinum and simply waiting to slap on the shimmer.

(Side Note: I’m typing with naked nails and have cursed all nail polishes to Mount Doom.)

I know this is a stupid example, but hang with me for a minute.

But, we all do this from time to time. We do this with important things like dating, marriage, health, occupations and life goals.

We’re single for the first time in years and we don’t wait for the nail to dry before slapping on another coat of someone new. We’re tired of working as a nobody, so in the effort of becoming a somebody, we jump ship and smear. We want to look like a Hollywood, so we crash more towards Dollywood and smudge.

Whether we want to lose weight, write a book, find a husband, finish a degree, have a kid or be our own boss, it can be incredibly hard to one_color_nails_colorful3wait for the ‘paint’ to dry and follow the steps. But it’s vital. We learn in the waiting. We encourage others in the process. We appreciate  the shine so much more when it’s done right and done well. Add color. Enjoy change. Have patience and enjoy the wait. Please remind me of this when you see me.

What about you? Do you have things that never seem to pass the smudge test?

This is Day 36 of my 100 Days of Blogger.
(I haven’t posted in 4 days. Don’t judge me. I’ve been waiting for my nails to dry.)

 

 

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3 Comments

  1. i just painted my nails! i use essie which dries relatively quickly. and i know this sounds so weird but once i think my nails are dry, i (lightly) lick them. if they are completely dry, then it tastes like nothing, otherwise there is the faint hit of nail polish left but no smudge. is that weird? am i killing brain cells? once they are dry then i take a qtip with nail polish remover and go around the edges to clean ’em up!

  2. I’m waiting for the polish to dry when it comes to Luke. I know that no child is a text book baby, but this kiddo breaks every rule in the book. If it says it should be one way, he is guaranteed to make it the opposite. Babies should sleep 1 1/2 – 2 hours several times a day – he sleeps 30 – 45 minutes or nothing. Babies should be able to settle themselves to sleep once you train them – he’ll scream for an hour. Babies love to nurse! Nah. He arches his back and screams, but will take a bottle in a second. :/

    I get so impatient in waiting for him to be the textbook baby that I think he should be that I some days don’t enjoy him and the season we are in – regardless if its going smoothly or not. Thanks for the reminder to stick it out, be patient, and trust that God knows what’s up. :)

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